guide
Hey! You're probably very confused right now. That's okay--you're safe, you'll be okay, and you really do exist. Let's get through this together--click one of the buttons.
Need help right now/there's an emergency? Click one of the buttons below.
I'm/we're okay right now, and would like to set things up to help future members using this Carrd.
*made by the Safety Pins for any systems, plurals, multiples, medians, or any individuals who disassociate and may benefit from this Carrd.
Explanation
It can be confusing and scary at first, but you're a part of something called a system.
A system (AKA multiple, collective, or plural) is multiple individuals in one body. These individuals are known as headmates, alters, or systemmates.
There's a few ways systems happen. The most well known is when a brain makes new people to cope with stress, but there are other was. A system might have new people who just show up for no outside reason, or might start out with one person making another person on purpose.
You are one of those people, and your body contains a system.
Your System
Your system inhabits a human body and lives somewhere on Earth. If you go to google maps, you'll probably be able to see your location there.
You're using some kind of electronic device right now--this may be a phone (small handheld device with a screen), a tablet (large flat device with a screen), or a computer (large device with a screen and keyboard).
If you've been in this body before, but it's a very different time from when you were last here (which you can check with the button bellow), you were most likely dormant. Welcome back! Things have probably changed in the meantime, and it's normal to need time to adjust. You'll get used to it again soon enough.
If you're new, welcome, too! Being a new individual can be very alarming and stressful, but you'll be alright. You're here now, and we'll take some time to try to help you feel more solid.
What do you need right now? (If you're not sure, select the thing you don't know. If you need multiple of these and can't decide where to start, start with the button furthest on the left/top.)
Prove I'm real
You are definitely real and not dreaming, but it can be hard to tell, especially when you're disassociated (feeling disconnected from yourself/environment) or depersonalized (disconnected from your identity). The following are five ways to confirm you're real and awake.
1. Read this sentence. Now look away, then look back again. If you're dreaming, this bullet wouldn't say "Read this sentence" anymore.
2. Try to poke through your hand. Use one finger and push into the middle of the opposite palm. If it doesn't go through the hand, you're not dreaming.
3. If you can, ask someone to tell you a fun fact. Try to guess what they'll tell you before they do. If you're dreaming, you'll usually know what they'll say before they do.
4. Check if you're breathing. If you hold your breath, do you need to breathe again in 2 minutes or less? When you exhale on a mirror, is there condensation? Only living and real beings breathe, and you usually don't breathe in dreams.
5. Try to float. See if you can float with your body a foot off the ground in the outer world for a full minute. Awake/alive/real people don't float.
Who am I?
You might not be able to find out exactly who you are right now, but you might be able to find some of the basics, or at least information about the body.
If you think you aren't new in your system, but don't know what alter you are, this unblurring document by the Kalmia Riot! System might help.
Your body is definitely alive, human, and able to read English or whatever language you translated this to. Check the device you're on--if you're logged into an email, see if there's a name attached. That is most likely the name of the body, host, or what the whole system goes by. If your system has a Discord, you might be able to ask someone questions--check if you're in any servers for plurals, systems, and/or multiples, and/or if you have friends added you feel you can trust.
As for finding out who you are yourself, it's complicated. The unblurring document linked above might help. Think about what you can remember--you might have memories that didn't or couldn't happen to your body. These are called 'exomemories,' and are fully normal--they didn't happen in the 'real' world*, but that doesn't make them less real or valid for you.
*in this case, the 'real world' is the world people outside of your system percieve and experience, also known as the outer world or simply IRL (in real life)
Do you know your name? Try looking it up online. If you find a person that looks like how you feel like you do, but not like the body, there's a chance you're an introject. If not, you're likely a fully new individual with no source. Both are okay.
For helping to determine/affirm your identity:
Picrews are a good way to help decide how you look, or want to look. This one is our favorite, and has nonhuman options.
Think about the body you feel like you do/should have, and consider how it differs from your current body. If you feel like you should have limbs or abilities you don't, you might be nonhuman.
If you don't have a name but want one, looking through baby names can help. To start, these are lists of unisex/nonbinary names, girl names, and boy names. If you want to try out names and pronouns, ask a friend to use them for you or check out the pronoun dressing room.
Hotlines & Crisis Support
International
If your country is missing from this page, this page has a more comprehensive international list!
The resources on this Carrd are oriented towards English-speaking countries and North America, as that is where I live.
United States
The Trevor Project - 1-866-488-7386 - LGBTQ+ youth crisis hotline, textline, & web chat
Crisis Text Line - Text HOME to 741741 - Text hotline
RAINN - 800-656-4673 - Sexual assault and abuse hotline
Trans Lifeline - 1-877-565-8860 - Transgender crisis hotline
Nami - 1-800-950-6264 - Non-emergency helpline for mental health information & locating mental health services
Canada
DawnCanada provides a comprehensive list of hotlines in Canada for mental health, violence, assault, and abuse.
Canada Suicide Prevention Service - 1-833-456-4566 or 45645 - Hotline and textline available in English and French
Trans Lifeline - 1-877-565-8860 - Transgender crisis hotline
United Kingdom
OpenCounseling provides a comprehensive list of hotlines in the UK for mental health, violence, assault, drugs, and abuse.
Hopeline UK - 0800-068-4141 or 07860039967 - Hotline and textline for people under 35
Grounding
If you need to confirm you're real before grounding, you can go to that page first and then come back here. These grounding methods are meant to help panic attacks, disassociation, meltdowns, and similar. Not everything will work for everyone, so if you need to, try multiple methods.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
note: you may want to replace certain senses, or only count one thing per category. If the body is blind, d/Deaf, or lacks another sense, skip that sense.
5. Name five things you see around you--colors, objects, anything.
4. Name four things you can touch around you--an object or texture.
3. Name three things you can hear--your breathing, any noise at all
2. Name two things you can smell--this may just be your own clothes and soap, or something specific.
1. Name one thing you can taste--for example the last thing you ate
Strong Input
Find something that provides a strong sensation that is not pain.* Some of the easiest options are: washing your hands in cold or hot water, holding ice, eating/drinking something very sour, or rubbing your hands together quickly.
*Pain often makes grounding harder, and hurts both your brain and body.
Stimming
Stimming is self-stimulatory behavior, ie fidgeting. If you're a person who already has favorite stims or movement you're drawn to, try that. If not, you can try: flapping your hands, chewing gum, tapping a foot, shaking your head, or humming.
Controlled Breathing
Breathe along with this gif.
Setup Tips
The following are things that this Carrd will tell a new member to check for, and how to set them up to be accessible. You do not need to set up any or all of these, but they may be helpful for members both old and new!
1. Google Maps/iMaps & location markers. It can be helpful to have labeled pins on a google maps account showing where the following are: your systems current house, one or more trusted friends/adults, and a safe quiet space nearby such as a cafe or library. Google maps, as an app, is ideal due to being accessible on more devices than iMaps.
2. Something on your person, such as a card or a phone lockscreen, that says basic info about the body. For example, the name your system goes by, gender, and general location (country, city, etc.). This can especially be helpful for newbies who appear in a non-home environment.
3. A contingency plan either in a notes app or Google Docs. This Carrd specifically suggests searching the word "contingency" to find a plan, so putting that in the title is ideal. A contingency plan may outline how to trigger out members, what constitutes an emergency, and things that your system knows new members need to do--ie where they should go in headspace or who to ask for help.
4. A system journal. This may have any of the above information, be used to log switches, or whatever your system needs to write down. These can be useful outside of for newbies, especially for systems with amnesia.
5. The app "SimplyPlural." This is an app available on IOS, Android, and Google Play for plurals to create member profiles, log switches, record notes, and notify friends of front changes. It can be synced with PluralKit to import members.
One suggestion our system has/uses is to create a member titled "New members read desc," and then leave basic instructions in the description of that placeholder member.
What Now/Things to Check For
The following are things it might be useful to look for. Your system might not have any or all of these set up--if not, you can use other tips in this Carrd to try to find what you need.
1. Google Maps/iMaps & location markers. Log on to Google Maps here--your system might have set up a list or pins labeling where your home or other important places are. Even if they haven't, you can use this to figure out your city, state/province, and country if you have location on.
2. Something on your person, such as a card or a phone lockscreen, that says basic info about the body. There may be something on you that tells you the name or pronouns the body goes by, or that indicates where you are and important medical info. Check for a medical ID: on an iPhone there may be one in the "Health" app. Med IDs can also be in a wallet (small folding container holding cards), or worn as a necklace or bracelet.
3. A contingency plan either in a notes app or Google Docs. Go to Google Docs or a note taking app on the device you're using and search "contingency." If your system has one, you'll probably find a plan telling you what to do.
4. A system journal. This may be any notebook, possibly with an ampersand (&) or a system name on the cover. Depending on your system, this could have a variety of information that your system thinks you might need.
5. The app "SimplyPlural." Your system might have this app on a phone, tablet, and/or computer. It might have a member on the "fronter" or "custom fronter" list that's for new people--if it does, check for information and the description and set yourself as fronting.